My Queen, My Heart
by Mimozka
Summary: "You left me!" Caspian shouted in blind rage, oblivious to their audience, as he threw his glass against the wall. "You did nothing to stop me!" Susan screamed back at him, her image of the "Gentle Queen" forgotten. Inspired by C. Underwood's "There's a Place for Us" (not a song fic). AU post VotDT. Bookverse/Movieverse.With a slightly altered timeline. Angsty & a bit OOC
1. Chapter 1

**_Hi there! I told you I'd be writing more Suspian ^_^_**

**_So, this idea has been going in my mind for quite a while now and to be honest with you most of the inspiration behind it came from the OST to VotDT: Carrie Underwood's - "There's A Place for Us". _**

**_I've read a lot of "Susan returns to Narnia" fics some with Ramandu's daughter, others without her. This is my spin on it._**

**_Chapters are short-ish, I know. I originally intended to post all of this as one huge one-shot but seeing as I'm not even half-way through and it's already over 20 pages long... yeah. You get shortish chapters but frequent updates seeing as most of it is pre-written._**

**_Enjoy and feel free to tell me if I've gotten some facts wrong. (I've read the books up until the Silver Chair)._**

_** Flashbacks are in** __Italics_**  
**

**_See you on the other end._**

* * *

_A world where You and I belong,_

_Where Faith and Love will keep Us strong._

_Exactly who We are is just enough._

_There's a place for us. _

_**~ "There's a Place for Us" – Carrie Underwood**_

**_ (Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader OST)_**

The forest was way too green to belong in England. The light breeze that was swirling her hair behind her back had an almost magical quality to it. It was all too familiar to her.

No.

It couldn't be.

This had to be a dream. There was no other way. She knew in her heart that her hunch was correct for no other place, Earthly or otherwise felt like home to her as being here did.

But she was told she was not to return.

So how in the blazes was she back here then? - It had to be a dream… But then again she hadn't dreamt of this place in years now. Or rather she had forbidden herself to dream of it. She had pushed it into the furthest and darkest corner of her mind. She wanted to forget this unreachable place. And yet, she was terrified of forgetting _him_.

_God knows that she tried everything in her power to get back to _him_. Her siblings couldn't bear to watch her try the impossible. She'd taken that same train every day for months, at the exact same time, sat at the exact same spot, stood up to get off the train at the exact same station – for naught. She'd even gone to pay old Professor Kirke a visit. After they'd exchanged pleasantries she had excused herself claiming to have a headache. As soon as she was alone she made a run towards the old Wardrobe. It was just as she remembered it. She got in, albeit with a little difficulty since she was taller than the first time she visited inside the Wardrobe. The coats were still there. Everything was in place. Except the pines at the back of the Wardrobe, There was nothing there. But that didn't deter her. She banged, pushed, clawed and even yelled at the wood – yet, nothing happened. _

_She even went as far as to pay a visit to her aunt Alberta and Uncle Harold in Cambridge. Claiming that she'd missed her and Eustace while in America (she wasn't too fond of her Uncle). Under the pretense of going to greet her cousin upstairs (who was probably in his room, doing God knows what) she all but ran towards the small room Lucy occupied during her stay here. She nearly tore the door off its hinges in her eagerness. She stood in front of the painting for a while, just staring at the ship there, willing it to move with her mind. When nothing happened she took the painting off the wall and shook it_

_Up._

_ Down._

_ To both sides._

_Nothing. _

_"What are you doing?" the nasal voice of her cousin made her jump. _

_The painting fell to the floor. Thank God for the small carpet that softened its fall or it would have been ruined. _

_She turned to face her cousin with her hand clutching at her heart. No. Not her heart. She didn't have a heart to clutch at anymore. Her hand was pressed against her _chest_. Yes. That was it. After all the very reason she set out on this mad search was because she wanted her heart back – in any way she could get it. _

_"Don't you knock?" she asked him flatly and threw him a glare that she had perfected as her years as Queen; one, that was often thrown at her obnoxious suitors during the Golden Age. _

_She gave him credit for not flinching under it. _

_"In my own home?" Eustace's reply was just as clipped._

_ She looked at him then – he was taller than she remembered. He had certainly outgrown the scrawny little whiny git that she remembered. He was nearly as tall as Edmund now, _still on the scrawny side though_, she added after another moment of observation. _

_"Have you gone mad, cousin?" Eustace raised an inquiring eyebrow at her. Her erratic behavior had been the talk of the family for some time now. The only people who seemed to know what was going on were her siblings, yet of course they wouldn't tell him anything. _

_Still scrawny and still a git it seems – She nearly voiced her thought. However, the Queen in her protested about stooping to his level. _

_In a rare moment of empathy, Eustace took pity on his cousin and approached her, putting, what he hoped was a comforting hand on her arm. _

_"I know you miss Narnia, so do I, but you can't keep going on like this." _

_It seemed his words had the absolute opposite effect of what he'd hoped for. _

_His words cut her deep. His casual mention of a topic so sensitive to her; his nonchalant tone as he spoke the name of her Home brought too many memories and emotions that crushed her resolve. _

_Eustace watched as his cousin's face distorted into a painful grimace as if she'd been stabbed with a rusty knife and he was pretty sure she'd stopped breathing. _

_She put all of her efforts to will the memories away. She couldn't deal with them now, or she'd never accomplish her goal. It took her a moment but she reined her emotions in. The crack in her armor had been patched, albeit temporarily. She knew that the sudden reminder would have consequences, but she'd deal with them later. This is where being a Queen came in handy. As a royal she knew that her people came first with no regard to her personal needs and feelings. She would tend to her people no matter how abysmal her own day was. Later, when night had fallen and she was in the privacy of her room she would let go of her own emotions. She decided to treat the current situation in a similar manner. She would deal with the consequences alone, tonight after her family had gone to bed. She didn't need nor want their pity. _

_With her regal mask intact on her face she jerked her arm sharply from Eustace's hold. This time, the boy flinched at her glare. _

_"You don't know anything." The coldness in her reply was enough to turn even Jadis herself into an icicle. _

_"Good to see you haven't changed, cousin." She told him flatly and then marched out of the room looking every bit like the Queen that she was – with her back straight and head held high, no matter that she was crumbling on the inside._

_With a hasty goodbye to her Aunt she left their home, vowing to never set foot there again. _

"_Things never happen the same way twice_" – of course, she remembered when Lucy had told them of Aslan's words. She should have known their previous means of "transportation" wouldn't work. But hope is a vicious thing. Vicious and cruel and more often than not it overrides any kind of rational thought.

Her head ached from all the questions exploding in her head. What should she do now? Where should she go? Was it even safe to venture somewhere on her own?

And then, a small thought made her way to the front of her mind. A thought that made her breath catch in her throat and her eyes brim with tears. A thought that nearly crippled her with the intense pain it caused her. It's been two years since she last set foot here. The last time they'd had only been gone a year in their world yet, thirteen centuries have passed here.

That must mean that all her friends are dead. That _he _is dead. But how did he die? Was it an illness? Old Age? A conspiracy – like his father? – No, that last one was out of the question. He was too good a man to not be loved by all his subjects. How long did he live? Was he happy? Did he marry? Did he have children? – She knew how much he wished for a family. Did he think of her during his life?

So many questions and she had no means to obtain answers. Perhaps, if she could find a library, she could read some of the history books.

"Things never happen the same way twice" Aslan's words rang clear in her mind again. The onslaught of questions stopped. She paused to think about it for a moment… Could it possibly extend to time as well? Was there a possibility that time between Narnia and London flowed differently now?

The words that were once her source of despair now became her lifeline.

One question remained, however: What was she to do now? Where should she go?

Looking around, she came to the conclusion that she was not familiar with the forest she was in. This wasn't a good start. As her eyes roamed over her surroundings she noticed a path to her left. She headed towards it quickly, thinking that it should lead her to civilization at some point. She knew she needed to get out of the forest as quickly as she could, for God knew what kind of beasts lurked around here.

* * *

**_You've noticed, I'm sure, that my timeline doesn't match the books. Yeah, about that. I know that Eustace and Jill were not supposed to come back until "The Silver Chair", but I needed them for the story and decided to have them visit for a reason that will be revealed as the plot thickens._**

**_And just because I'm sure you're wondering (although you'll learn this in chapter 3) it's been 6 years for Susan and 8 for Caspian which places them at 23 (Susan) and 25 (Caspian)._**

**_I've got another story brewing in my head thanks to Carrie Underwood's marvelous song. But I'll start on it after this one is done._**

**_Anywho, what did you think so far?_**

**_Constructive critisism is always appreciated._**

**_Anna._**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thanks to everyone who reviewed and read the last chapter! You're awesome. **_

_**Here's the next one. **_

_**Enjoy.**_

_Italics__** are thoughts.**_

* * *

She's been walking for what seemed to her as hours now, following the twists and turns of the path and wondering where on Earth it would lead her.

As she was walking she heard a crunch. She looked down to her feet only to determine that she was not responsible for it.

She tensed. Someone or something was coming towards her. Personally, she was hoping for the former. On a second thought though, this wasn't such a good option if that someone was a foe instead of a friend.

Instinctively, she reached behind her back only to remember that she did not have her bow and arrows.

She cursed quietly under her breath. She stilled then, listening and she could hear horse's hooves. They were coming closer and by the sound of it there was more than one horse, which in turn meant that there was more than one person out there. She cursed again. What was she going to do now? There was nowhere she could hide. The bushes weren't thick enough and she didn't have enough time to climb onto a tree. She was weaponless. Unable to defend herself.

Of course, she could always reveal her identity and pray that they would believe her word. She looked down at her attire and snorted – yeah, right, because a Queen of Narnia wears such clothes. They'd slay her on the spot.

Running away was useless, they would hear her and come after her no doubt and while she was a fast runner, she couldn't outrun a horse let alone more than one.

Her hand-to-hand combat skills weren't good enough. _He _had tried to teach her at the time, but it seemed that her gift in the war field extended only to archery and some knife-throwing (but only because of her great aim). Perhaps if she could incapacitate one of them enough to take their weapon or even their horse, she would have a chance to take on the others.

She could hear voices now as well as the sound of the approaching horses.

Yes, her plan will have to do.

Assuming her regal posture once again she stood straight, awaiting the arrival of riders.

She did not wait long.

Nor did she expect what she saw.

"Cousin Susan?!" No other than Eustace exclaimed when he spotted her in front of him. He pulled the reins of his horse, commanding him to stop.

His riding companion, a girl, Susan noted, also stopped beside Eustace.

"You!" Susan exclaimed, relieved that they weren't thieves or worse.

"It's Lord Eustace Scrubb of Narnia." The girl corrected her haughtily.

Susan turned her attention to her. She looked at the girl, who seemed to be about her cousin's age, from head to toe. Who does she thinks she is?

"Well then, it's Queen Susan the Gentle of Old Narnia, to you." She replied with a smirk as she watched the girl's eyes pop in surprise.

"She's never to return." The girl said after her shock subsided. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion of the woman in front of her. She'd heard the legends, both the old and newer ones. She knew the Queen was told by Aslan that she would not visit them again after the coronation of King Caspian.

"Yet here I am." Susan shrugged.

"What are you doing here?" Eustace asked as he dismounted his horse and approached her, thus effectively cutting off her spat with the obnoxious girl

"That's what I want to know." Susan told him. She was still holding a grudge against him for the obnoxious way he behaved towards her in his house, but right now he was the only one who could help her.

"You believe her?" Susan gritted her teeth as the girl interrupted them again. She was lucky Susan did not have her bow and arrows.

"Cut it out, Jill. I know her. She's my cousin, she's telling the truth." Eustace told her with a huff. He knew what Jill was like and that she only meant well, but by the look on his cousin's face she was on the verge of launching herself on Jill – royal etiquette be damned.

In her defense, while she knew the legends, Jill had never set eyes on so much as a drawing of the Queen. The King had forbidden the portraits of the Kings and Queens of old at court - especially the ones of the Gentle Queen.

No one dared to contradict him on that topic.

"Where am I, Eustace?" Susan asked, eager to get at least some answers.

"You're near Glasswater creek."

That surprised her. She was nearly at the Archenlandian border. There goes her plan of walking towards a civilization.

"Can you ride?" Eustace asked Susan. She only responded by raising an eyebrow at him. "Yes, of course you can. Stupid question. Sorry."

"What are we going to do with her?" Jill asked Eustace then. "We can't leave her here."

"We'll take her to the King." Eustace said.

Jill snorted. "Are you mad, Scrubb?"

"Do you see a better option, Pole? I won't leave her in the middle of nowhere. She has no horse, no weapons and no food. Hell, she'll freeze in these clothes." Eustace countered.

Susan couldn't believe her cousin's words. Perhaps, Narnia had changed him for the better after all. Perhaps he just couldn't help the occasional 'git move'. After all, Narnia had cured Peter of his bossiness for the most part but he had his moments of being a know-it-all prat.

"Who is king?" Susan asked loudly, cutting off the argument between her cousin and his friend.

"King Caspian, of course." Jill looked at Susan as if she didn't know what to make of her.

Susan's breath caught in her throat for the second time. No, wait, perhaps it was not the same Caspian. After all _he _had been the tenth. Who's to say there wasn't an eleventh?

The hope that sparked inside of her at the mention of the name died as quickly as it ignited.

_Don't get your hopes for nothing, Susan! – _She told herself harshly.

"Take me to him." Her request sounded more of a command when it came out of her lips.

"Here, take my horse, I'm not that fond of riding. I can ride with Scrubb." Jill said, catching Susan by surprise with her kind act.

After they were all situated on their horses Eustace turned to his cousin again. "It's nearly sunset. If we ride all night we should be there by morning."

"Let's go!" Susan said, pressing her heels against her horse and taking off in front of her cousin.

"What's the rush, he probably doesn't even remember her…" Eustace muttered under his breath after his cousin had set out in front of him.

Fortunately for him he would never find out just how immensely lucky he was Susan hadn't heard him.

* * *

_**What did you think? **_

_**Next up is the reunion.**_

_**God it was fun to play titles in this chapter. I haven't read the Silver Chair yet, so I probably have gotten her character wrong. However, I wrote it that way because she has to put up with Eustace which means she'll need to be able to stand her ground.**_

_**Have a great day,**_

_**Anna.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Here we go with number 3! Longest so far and luckily for you I changed my mind about cutting it off after the line-breaker._**

**_Enjoy._**

* * *

The sky was tinged with pinkish hues when they reached town.

"Eustace, the castle is to the left." Susan called to her cousin who was about to take a right.

Eustace shook his head tiredly. It's been a while since he'd taken such an intense quest. "Just follow me, cousin."

He took the right turn in the crossroads, glad that their journey would be over before the sun was up.

Susan shook her head. It didn't make sense. He was headed towards the ruins of Cair Paravel. There was nothing there anymore. Besides, wouldn't a Telmarine king rule in a Telmarine castle?

She didn't have the energy to fight her cousin though, so she followed him, albeit with a certain dose of skepticism.

As soon as they took the last turn from the yet sleepy marketplace, Susan saw it.

Her heart skipped a beat and she forgot to breathe for a third time in less than twenty-four hours.

In front of her very eyes stood Cair Paravel in its former splendor. The same majestic building she resided in along with her siblings in the Golden Age. She couldn't spot a single difference at least from the outside. She felt her eyes brim for tears brought by the sudden onslaught of memories.

She was home.

In that instant she knew. Susan knew without a shadow of a doubt who was responsible for this.

"Caspian…" she whispered, her voice full of emotion.

If she weren't sure before, then that instant cemented it for her. She loved him. She loved him with her entire being. No matter how much her rational side tried to prove her wrong – that they had known each other for a very short time; that under normal circumstances it took much longer to fall in love with someone. Her heart recounted them with one single statement: they hadn't met under 'normal' circumstances.

After seeing her home restored to its former glory she was sure – he must love her too. Why would he do it otherwise? She was sure because she understood his reasoning behind doing this. He needed a connection to her – and her siblings – more sufficient than books filled with legends about the Golden Age. What more solid evidence than Cair? She knew that had she been able to she would have done the very same.

She dismounted her horse in a daze. She followed behind Eustace and the Jill-girl silently. Her eyes were looking all around as if she were seeing this place for the same time.

"Finally! I was about to send a search party. What took you so long?!" Susan's heartbeat quickened at the sound of the familiar grumpy voice coming from the Castle entrance.

"DLF!" She exclaimed loudly, not being able to contain her excitement any longer as she pushed Eustace aside so she could run to the dwarf.

Trumpkin was in shock. He recognized her voice no matter that it has been almost a decade since he last heard it. If he hadn't known her so well he would have thought he had gone mad. But she was here-running towards him was no other than the Gentle Queen herself.

He let her hug him – squish him, really – and he hugged her in return. Talk about a surprise.

"Your Majesty," He murmured with a curtsy as soon as she let him go.

"Oh dear friend, none of that!" Susan exclaimed happily. She felt like picking him up and spinning him in circles but she thought that he wouldn't appreciate the gesture.

It took her a moment, but soon enough her brain caught up with the full implications of seeing Trumpkin.

If he was still alive then that meant that…

Trumpkin watched as the Queen's face lit up with a sudden epiphany.

He knew what she would ask him before she spoke.

"Where is he?" She whispered, still afraid that she might be wrong.

"At this time of the day, His Majesty is – "

Trumpkin never got the chance to finish because Susan's face lit up again.

"At the training fields! Of course!" She cut him off.

And she set off running towards him, unwilling to wait another moment to see him. Six years were long enough.

Eustace stared at his cousin – and after her – in wonder. She was acting like a love sick schoolgirl.

Trumpkin watched the Queen's excitement with a sad smile, knowing just how hurt she would be. He also knew that the King's happiness would be just as great if not greater than the Queen's at their reunion and that he, too, would be crushed by their impossible situation.

All three set out in the direction in which Susan disappeared into, slowly following in her footsteps.

* * *

As soon as she stepped into the training fields she saw him. He was impossible to miss.

He was taller than she remembered and not as lanky, she could tell even from this far. His hair was a bit longer and tied back rather than falling on his shoulders. He turned slowly and she saw that he hasn't shaved in a while too. The stubble made him look all the more grown up. And appealing.

He was currently instructing a handful of soldiers. Archers, to be exact.

Susan smiled. She spotted some discarded bows and arrows a few steps ahead of her. She knew exactly how to make her "Grand Entrance".

She watched him focus as he aimed his crossbow at the target as she followed in his footsteps some steps behind him.

As soon as his arrow hit its target she released hers.

Everything that followed happened very quickly.

She was not surprised to see her arrow pierce the heart of the target. She shot another arrow quickly, this one hit the King's arrow, splitting it in half.

Caspian jumped in alarm, pulling out his sword immediately at the unexpected threat. He turned on his heel immediately.

From his peripheral vision he saw his men follow his lead silently as they approached him.

He was about to charge when he laid eyes on his enemy. It was a woman. Even from the distance between them he could tell she was beautiful and he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something familiar about her.

The way her dark hair framed her face elegantly, swaying gently in the morning breeze, from her immaculate posture. Then he took notice of what she was wearing. He had never seen clothing like this before. Surely she wasn't from this world.

He as good as froze as that thought hit him.

No.

It couldn't be.

No way.

It couldn't be _her. _

Not after all these years.

He motioned for his men to stand down with his hand. Even if he was mistaken, he would not harm her.

Then he tore his eyes from her and looked back at the target. Dead center, of course. He looked at his arrow that was now hanging limply to both sides of her arrow.

There was only one person who possessed such precision, that Caspian knew of.

If that wasn't proof enough, she spoke to him as soon as his eyes returned to her and her voice engulfed him in a cocoon of warmth.

Susan watched him carefully as recognition came to him. It's been six years since she last saw him, yet she could still read him like an open book.

She watched as he froze in shock and then shook in disbelief and lastly she watched as his face displayed nothing but wonder.

"You haven't been practicing, My King." She called out to him teasingly, knowing that he would catch her reference. "Your posture is still incorrect."

His heart stilled at her words.

He would know that smile anywhere. A smile more brilliant than the Radiant Southern Sun.

It was _her. _

It was really her.

She came back to him.

Either that or he was dreaming.

"Susan…" he breathed, his voice trembling with emotion as he uttered her name. "My Queen," his vision blurred with tears and his heartbeat quickened.

There was a moment of total silence after which they were both crossing the field in long, hurried strides, towards each other.

Susan broke into a run, Caspian followed suit only a second after her. She ran towards him with arms wide open, laughing and crying at once, completely overwhelmed by the countless emotions he brought out.

The King was not much different. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this happy when he was running towards her.

They collided with each other. With Caspian's arms going around Susan's waist and with hers wrapping themselves around his neck. The sheer force of their collision nearly knocking them both off their feet.

"Susan," Caspian breathed, burying his face into her neck, much like he did all those years ago after they kissed. "Susan. Susan. Susan." He murmured almost incoherently.

Susan's fingers twisted in his hair as she pulled him even closer to her. "Caspian. Oh, Caspian." She sobbed into his chest. "I missed you." She breathed against him.

"I missed you more than you'll ever know." Caspian responded quietly.

He lifted his head from her shoulder and looked at her. Really looked at her for the first time in eight years.

She was every bit as beautiful as he remembered and even more so, even with her tear-stained cheeks.

"My memories do not do you justice, My Queen." He told her, his voice reverent.

She smiled so widely she thought her face would crack. "Neither do my memories of you." She said.

His hands moved from around her waist to cup her face, his thumbs brushing away her tears.

"I thought I'd never see you again." He confessed somberly.

"When I first got here, I thought I was too late, that you were dead." She countered with a confession of her own and brushed away his tears from his cheeks.

Caspian pulled Susan to him again. He needed to make sure this wasn't just a dream because if it was and he woke up it would surely kill him.

"You're here." He whispered into her hair.

"I am." Susan nodded against his chest, feeling more content than she ever had.

Caspian laughed then. His whole body shook with joy as he laughed boisterously and picked Susan up and started spinning them both. He hadn't felt such glee in a very long time.

His loud laughter was infectious as was his happiness. She squealed when he started spinning her and clutched him tighter.

Their foreheads brushed against one another as he lowered her back down. And suddenly the entire world around them disappeared. They forgot that they were standing in the middle of a battlefield with Caspian's men and Susan's cousin and his friend staring at them in wonder.

Their eyes locked and Susan suddenly felt short of breath for a reason that had nothing to do with all her laughing. Her heart hammered in her ribcage as if trying to break free. Her pulse rang loudly in her ears and she was overwhelmed by his wonderful scent. Clean and woodsy, soap and pine - just like she remembered.

Their faces were millimeters apart. Just the slightest tilt of their heads and their lips would touch.

It was then that reality came crashing down on Susan. In a far corner in her mind she heard a voice that sounded remarkably like Lucy's that kept telling her that he is married.

Caspian had a wife.

Oh God. What was she doing?! He was married! She couldn't do this! He had vows to abide!

Caspian saw the light in Susan's eyes go out like a candle. And just like her, he seemed to suddenly remember his place.

He put her down, tearing his gaze from hers.

As soon as her feet touched the ground, Susan took a couple of steps back for she couldn't think straight with him being so close to her.

An awful awkwardness settled between them.

Susan hated it.

"I should go." She murmured.

Caspian's hand shot out to grasp her arm before he had time to register the action.

"You'll stay in the palace. I insist. It's your home." He told her firmly.

"You must be freezing." He said after noticing for a second time what she was wearing. The dress barely reached her knees and while the design was foreign to him, and a little bizarre, he had to admit that it flattered her. "Come, I'll take you to your quarters."

* * *

_**Well? What did you think? **_

_**I can say that from now on this story will earn it's "angst" genre classification. **_

_**I'm sorry if it wasn't what some of you may have expected, but the both of them have a lot of bridges to cross before they get remotely close to their HEA or whatever is in store for them. **_

_**Have a great day, you guys, and thank you all for the marvelous comments and support.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Anna.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Let the Angst begin.**_

* * *

They walked beside one another with at least a foot between them. Both thinking that it was better to put some distance between them before either of them did something they would later regret.

As they walked through halls and corridors Susan found herself constantly looking around. The paths they took were familiar to her as was some of the interior but there were new parts as well. She couldn't blame him for that. From her previous talks with Doctor Cornelius she remembered that he told her that there were very few texts about the Golden Age that survived the Telmarine invasion.

They were walking in silence and it was more awkward than it had been those first weeks they had spent together at Aslan's How. Susan felt like an awkward teenager all over again, considering how furiously her mind was trying to come up with a safe, neutral topic in order to break the ice between them.

Caspian hated the awkwardness between them. He had always felt at ease around the Gentle Queen, once he got over the legend that surrounded her. He knew that he could speak to her just about everything and he knew that she would offer him advice, understanding and comfort and she wouldn't judge. Unless of course he did something stupid like follow a bunch of dwarves who wanted to bring the back White Witch back to life. Then there was no understanding for him. He still remembered how the disappointment shone in her eyes. She hadn't said a word to him, but her expression made him feel more ashamed than any verbal scolding she could have given him. And yet, she forgave him, he was about to betray them in the worst way possible – he might as well have brought Miraz and his army to them for it would have had the same effect – and she forgave him and once her anger passed, she acted as if she didn't think of him as a lesser person.

There hadn't been tension between them ever since. Not until now, that is. He was aware that it was caused only by the fact that they both came dangerously close to crossing a major line. Right now, he blamed the fact that they were both overwhelmed by their emotions to mind their actions, but later he knew he wouldn't feel this way. If anything, he was afraid that after they both had time to fully realize their actions, things would get even more awkward. He knew that aside from the momentous joy his reunion with Susan had brought him, it also reminded him of the fact that she was unreachable to him. Forbidden.

In their short encounter on the training fields he was met with more passion than he's had for eight years. He was reminded cruelly of what he wanted and what he couldn't have.

In that moment, he had wanted to behave like a child and stomp his foot and whine until he got his way. Unfortunately, he was a King and that came with more personal sacrifices than most realized.

What made this situation doubly as unbearable was his conclusion that considering the way Susan greeted him, his feelings couldn't possibly be one-sided.

"You've done a great job." Susan's quiet voice pulled him out of his brooding.

"I didn't have much to go on; I hope it lives up to its original splendor." Caspian peeked briefly at her, "And your expectations as well." He added more quietly after a short pause.

The tension in the air doubled and Caspian felt like kicking himself.

"If the outside is anything to go by, I'm sure that it would." Susan smiled at him. She wanted to know why he rebuilt it, why he stuck to the original design and architecture, but at the same time she thought she was better off not knowing.

Just as they turned the corner that would lead them to their respective quarters a servant came out from Caspian's room.

"Your Majesty," he bowed immediately, taking no notice of Susan. "The Queen has sent me to let you know that she is awaiting you for breakfast in the dining hall." He said, head still down.

At the mention of his wife, Caspian felt as if he'd been kicked in the gut. And then he felt guilty for feeling about his wife that way.

"Tell Her Majesty that I would join her shortly, and while you're there ask for one more pair of china and cutlery to be brought out. We have a guest." Caspian asked him as the servant straightened up.

It was then that he took notice of the Queen and his eyes widened. It took all his will to prevent his jaw from falling open.

"That would not be necessary, My King, thank you." Susan hurried to say before the servant could leave. "I'm afraid my journey has tired me quite a bit. I would like to just take a bath and rest, if that's alright." Susan slipped back into her regal persona – all poise, gentleness and manners. She hated being so formal with him, but it was for the best.

Caspian nodded immediately, "Of course, My Queen," he didn't even have to think about the way he addressed her, he then turned towards the man and missed Susan's slight flinch at the title. "Prepare a bath for Her Majesty and send a maid to the Blue Room with some breakfast."

"Really My King, I am not hungry, there is no need to tire the staff needlessly." The Queen protested.

"At least a tray with fruit and some snacks then," Caspian insisted. "You cannot expect me to go about my day, knowing you've been left without sustenance."

Susan fought the urge to roll her eyes, but she had more experience than she knew what to do with, when it came to overprotective, stubborn-as-mules, men in her life, and she knew it would only make matters worse.

"If I am hungry when I wake I'll go to the kitchens," She tried again.

They were facing one another now, oblivious to the servant's eyes who switched from one royal to another as if he was watching a very engaging duel.

"Nonsense," Caspian brushed her off. "You shouldn't have to go all the way to the kitchens for a meal."

"Caspian!" Susan exclaimed, her anger flaring. Who did he think he is!? King or not he had no right to take care of her any more than the etiquette required and sending food and ordering all kinds of accommodations and stubbornly insisting upon them against the guest's will certainly was not part of the social etiquette.

"Susan," Caspian replied just as passionately, albeit in a slightly calmer manner. She was in his castle therefore she would accept any accommodation he wished to bestow upon her. Why wouldn't she let him make sure she's taken care of like she deserves.

No one was able to mellow him out and put him at ease more than the Gentle Queen, but at the same time no one could infuriate and frustrate him so quickly as well.

He looked straight into her eyes then, for the first time since the training fields. "Humor me," he said.

Susan's resolve was about to crack. If looking into his eyes wasn't enough to erase all logical thoughts from her mind then the care and tenderness laced with the subtle authority of his plea certainly did.

She sighed, admitting defeat, cursing the effect he had on her. "As you wish," she relented and for a mere moment the smile that lit up his face was worth the frustration.

_He's married! _

Her conscious took the time to remind her again and thus dimmed all kind of positive emotion in her.

The servant cleared his throat in what he hoped was a subtle manner, having heard everything. "Shall I make the arrangements, then, Majesty?" he asked Caspian.

The King nodded at him and the man hurried to leave, in fear that he would be stuck in such an awkward situation once again.

"Come, I'll take you to your quarters." Caspian told Susan as he continued walking towards the Blue Room. He made three steps, to see that Susan was not following him.

"They are waiting for you in the dining hall," Susan countered quietly, rooted in her spot. "You should go, My King," her voice quivered the slightest bit as she uttered the words that would effectively send him away.

Caspian opened his mouth to respond, but she cut him off quickly. He didn't need to voice his thoughts out loud for her to know what he was about to say.

"I know where my room is, as it happens I've been here before." She offered him a weak, half-hearted smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

That statement of hers didn't make him feel any better.

"Still," Caspian protested, "what kind of host would I be if…?"

"One that does not make his wife wait for him to have breakfast!" The words were out of Susan's mind before she could help it. She flinched at how harsh they sounded.

_Harsh, but true, nevertheless. _

Caspian felt as if she'd slapped him. "You are right of course," he told her flatly after recovering from her blow. It was low, but it served its purpose of reminding him that she was off limits to him and that he had other responsibilities; it was awfully easy for him to forget that when he was around her. "And I shall not keep her waiting any longer. If you'll excuse me, Your Majesty, I hope you enjoy your rest and that you find your room to your liking." With that he bowed to her, turned on his heel and left.

Susan stood there, watching him walk away from her, rooted to her spot in horror. Only when he was out of her sight did she allow her tears to fall.

She felt horrible for treating him this way. He was nothing but courteous and kind towards her and she knew darn well it was something he didn't do out of obligation, it was simply the way he was. Her words had hurt him, no matter how truthful they were. She could see the hurt in his eyes before he slipped into the role of an uncaring, emotionless sovereign. The formal manner, devoid of all caring, in which he spoke to her before he left, felt to her as if someone had poured a bucket of ice-water over her. Never, in the entire time they've known each other, had he spoken to her in such a way. Not even when they had found each other in the gardens and he let her know just how he felt about seeing her put herself in danger. She tried to remember the most upset he's been with her – present situation excluded – and even then his voice was not uncaring.

What has she done?

Feeling that crying over him and standing in the middle of the corridor in the same spot he'd left her would not make him come back, she turned on her heel and walked towards her room with a heavy heart.

* * *

**_What did you think?_**


	5. Chapter 5

_**You continue to astound me with your support and love. **_

_**Thank you.**_

_**Enjoy the chapter.**_

* * *

When she opened the door to her room, she could only stand there, gaping as tears threatened to fall down again.

Her room was exactly as she remembered it. From the placing of the furniture, to their style, to the shades of oak they were made of, to the elegant patterns on the light blue tapestries.

He had restored her room to its original state; going over Aslan-knows-how-many books and records in order to obtain that information.

There was a knock on her door, suddenly, and Susan hurried to wipe her tearful eyes before calling out for the person outside to enter.

_Please don't be the King! _

"Your Majesty?" A soft, timid female voice came from the other side of the door.

Susan breathed a sigh of relief, but at the same time her heart sank just the tiniest bit because she had hoped, deep inside, that it would be Caspian at the door. What a silly hope!

Susan turned to face the owner of the voice and was met by the tanned face of a girl not much younger than her, she had sharp features, but kind eyes and Susan could not help but take an instant liking to her.

"Do come in," Susan motioned for her to come with her hand.

"I beg your pardon, for my intrusion, Majesty, but his Majesty the King has sent me to prepare your bath and see to your needs." The girl stepped inside slowly.

Susan took in the sight of her then, she was about Susan's height and had shiny black hair that was braided into a thick braid that fell over her shoulder.

"What is your name?" Susan asked her with a smile.

The girl looked absolutely horrified at the Queen's question. "Oh, My! What must you think of me, I did not even present myself to you. A Thousand Apologies, Your Majesty!" The girl bowed deeply, nearly sinking to her knees, as she pleaded desperately with Susan.

The Queen found this behavior quite odd. Surely, Caspian was not _that _harsh with his staff.

"Rise, dear girl, there is no need to apologize, and please calm down; no harm will come to you." She tried to reassure the servant girl.

The girl stood up and Susan could see a sheepish smile form on her lips, she was clearly embarrassed.

"I beg your pardon, My Lady, I have only recently started working as a maid in the palace and so far I've been assigned to the kitchens." The girl looked down at her feet.

Susan laughed softly, "That's alright, you'll learn with time. Now, I do believe you have yet to tell me your name, for I would prefer to address you by it rather than 'girl' or 'servant' – that would be horrible of me."

"My name is Daliah, My Lady." The servant-girl looked up at the Queen and curtsied slightly.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Daliah, and did the King say you are to be my personal maid?"

Daliah nodded. "Yes, Majesty, he said I was to tend to your every need for the duration of your stay."

Susan smiled "In that case, my name is Susan and it is a pleasure to meet you." She extended her hand to Daliah who now looked rather awed by the Queen's behavior.

Nevertheless, Daliah took Susan's hand and shook it. After all, she was a Queen and one does not simply refuse to take a sovereign's hand when they offer it.

"It's an honor, Your Majesty." Daliah said.

Susan laughed. "None of that Daliah, from now on you are my friend and as such you'll address me by my given name. I am a Queen outside of my chambers, but in here I am simply Susan; a young woman no different than you are."

Daliah could hardly believe her ears at this point. She's heard the whispers about the Queen and her siblings from the older members of the staff who had tended to all four before their left – Queen Susan was indeed as gentle a creature as her title suggested.

"I, once again, beg your pardon, My Lady, for I cannot do what you ask of me. By not addressing you with the respect you deserve, I feel like I'm wronging you, and that is the last thing I wish to do."

Daliah hoped the Queen would not be angry with her.

Susan sighed. Why was everyone so stubborn today? But on second though she did just meet the girl.

"Oh well, alright, I wish to cause you no discomfort. But if you insist on a title 'My Lady' will have to do. Let's leave the 'Your Majesty'-ies and 'My Queen'-s to the pompous Lords and Ladies of court, shall we?" Susan chuckled slightly.

Daliah smiled at the Queen's request. "As you wish, My Lady. I'll have your bath ready in a minute." And with that she disappeared into the small bathing room that was attached to Susan's bedroom.

While she was waiting for Daliah to be done, Susan wandered towards the big wardrobe and opened it. Inside were a variety of dresses, some she recognized while others she did not. They varied in styles, she noticed as she examined them briefly one by one. When her eyes landed at the very last dress she let out a soft gasp of surprise. The dress was a soft blue colour of a cloudless sky in a spring's day and had cotton sleeves that were white as snow and dark cuffs at the upper arm and wrist made of the same material as the bodice.

Susan caressed the dress, drowning in memories of when she's last worn it. It was one of the best and worst days of her entire life.

She wondered how on earth did Caspian obtain that dress, because as far as she remembered she had gone through the portal wearing it.

"Your bath is ready, My Lady." Came Daliah's voice from behind and the Queen came to her senses quickly, letting go of the dress and closing the wardrobe.

"Thank you, Daliah." Susan smiled at her as she passed her and gave the girl's shoulder a quick grateful squeeze.

"Would there be anything else?" Daliah asked the retreating queen.

Susan shook her head. "No, dear friend, you've done more than enough. I'll take my bath and then I'll just get some rest. You can take that time to yourself and do whatever you wish."

Daliah nodded, taking this as her cue to leave the Queen to her own devices.

Susan took a long bath, letting the warmth of the hot water engulf her in a cocoon of calmness. The heat relaxed her strained muscles from the all-night ride and she closed her eyes in contentment, forgetting all her troubles for the time being.

Alas, that was not meant to last.

After she got out of the water-which had become a bit chilly since the Queen dozed off a little while bathing - and dressed herself in a comfortable nightdress that Daliah had thoughtfully laid out for her, she stepped into her bedroom.

She approached her bed and her eyes fell on a silver tray that was positioned on her nightstand. On it were assortments of some freshly cut fruit, some cheeses and various breads.

Susan felt the lump in her throat make yet another appearance and this time she didn't stop the tears from falling.

Even after she had treated him so horribly, he still made sure that she had something to eat.

And in that day as she lay in bed she cried herself to sleep for the first time in years.

* * *

**_That's it for today._**

**_I'm going to be busy this weekend with my Arabic classes so I'll see you guys on Monday._**

**_Love,_**

**_Anna._**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Hey guys! Sorry the no-update couple of days. I was awfully sick and therefore sleepdeprived. _**

**_Anyways, I'm here now. _**

**_Last chapter we had Susan and now we'll see how Caspian handled their fight. _**

* * *

Meanwhile in another part of the castle, the King's mood was downright foul.

He as good as stomped his way furiously into the dining hall, stopping just before the door to compose himself. His wife, Lord Scrubb and Lady Pole had done nothing to warrant the awful grimace that graced his face and he shouldn't subject them to it.

It was time to play 'King' and leave 'Caspian' at the door.

He open the doors and strode into the dining hall to see his wife, a barely awake Jill and Eustace along with Doctor Cornelius, Trumpkin and Trufflehunter all seated at the table.

"I apologize for making you wait, please, do dig in. Eustace, Jill, you're barely keeping your eyes open. Eat up so you can go rest." Caspian addressed them all as he sat in his place at the head of the table.

To his right, his wife simply smiled kindly at him and said nothing. Caspian sighed internally in disappointment; he wished sometimes that she would challenge him and disagree with him. Instead, she was always kind and agreeable, always abiding and mellow.

At first it was a relief, but after a couple of years he found out he was growing tired of it.

He sometimes found himself doing stupid things just so that he could get a reaction out of her. Something different than a smile, a nod or a supportive and submissive attitude.

"I hear we have a guest, My Liege," the Doctor addressed Caspian with a small smile.

Caspian nodded. "Yes, indeed, my dear friend "he then picked up his fork and dug into his eggs "No other than the Gentle Queen."

Doctor Cornelius, Trumpkin and Trufflehunter all exchanged a quick glance, one that went unnoticed by the King but not by Eustace and Jill.

"So she'll stay here, with you?" Jill asked.

The blood drew from Caspian's face as he heard Jill's question, knowing he understood it differently than she meant it.

"Of course, Cair Paravel was the home of the Kings and Queens of Old." The Doctor hurried to say, seeing the state Caspian was in.

The King breathed in and out deeply, rearranged the 'regal' mask on his face and then turned to his wife.

"My Lady, I hope you don't mind, but I've assigned her a maid and I've given her the Blue Rooms. I know that usually such tasks fall to you but she wished to rest since her journey had wearied her greatly "

His wife did not fail to disappoint. She smiled kindly at him and he could see the compassion shine in her eyes. "Of course not, My Lord, the Blue Rooms used to be hers as it is, isn't that so? I see no wrong in letting her occupy them again. At least this way she'll be somewhere that reminds her of her home."

Caspian nodded absent-mindedly.

"So, Caspian, how do you know my cousin?" Eustace asked between bites of his buttered toast.

Trumpkin winced at the question. But in all honesty, Eustace didn't know just how touchy that subject was.

Caspian nearly choked on his breakfast. Good thing the Doctor was sitting to his left so he reacted quickly and patted him on the back until the King stopped coughing.

After his fit, Caspian seemed to compose himself. He was 'King' again – mask back in place.

"The same way I met the rest of your cousins, Eustace." He told the boy.

Eustace rolled an eyebrow. "Well, you never seemed to react like that towards Lu." He hinted.

Caspian's unease turned into anger and Eustace could feel it through the glare that the King sent his way.

"If you'll excuse me," Caspian said, throwing his napkin onto the table. "I seem to have lost my appetite." He stood up, pushing his chair back.

"I have paperwork to catch up with." He nodded politely at all of them but Eustace whom he ignored.

"You also have an audience with the Tisroc in the afternoon." Trumpkin reminded him.

The King fought the urge to roll his eyes at that.

_This day just keeps getting better and better… _- He thought.

"Shall I check on Queen Susan, My Lord?" his wife asked kindly.

Caspian wanted to shout at her for even saying her name. He wanted to take his frustration on someone. But one look at the kind woman's sincere smile and he was defeated.

She truly did have a good heart and he knew that she did not deserve him lashing out on her, just because he had issues.

_When did my life get so complicated?! _ - he groaned internally.

"When you blew that stupid horn!" he murmured under his breath and his hand shot to caress the said horn that was tied to his belt.

"My King?" His wife called him again.

Caspian looked at her. "Pardon me, My Lady, my thoughts seems to have distracted me." He apologized. "There would no need to check on the Queen. She told me she wished to rest today and that she would join us later in the day."

The Queen nodded in understanding.

With that Caspian strode out of the room more quickly than he ever had before.

"Was it something I said?" Eustace asked once Caspian was out of earshot.

* * *

_**Soo? What did you think?**_

_**It's on the short-side, I know. But as I explained to a reader who asked me about it in a PM: This story is actually a humongous one-shot that I've decided to break up. So instead of line-breakers you have chapters. When I run out of pre-written stuff I'll start thinking about the length of each chapter, but I will not change the ready ones because I do not want to mess up the pace of the story. **_

_**I also have a poll posted on my profile regarding the issue of the chapters. Go check it out and vote. Boss me around some :D**_

_**Have a great week, **_

_**Mimozka**_

_**P.S. to Raina: Yeah, I am a first year Arabic Studies student at the University of Sofia. We study Literary/Traditional Arabic and it is kicking my butt 100 ways into next Sunday. Where are you from?**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Hey guys! I'm not dead and I haven't forgotten about you. It's just that Finals season is just around the corner and I have a gazillion term papers to write (because what kind of college student would I be if I didn't leave them for the last possible moment).**_

_**Anywhoo, a reminder: last time Cas had breakfast with the family and Eustace manage to upset him and cause him to storm off and brood.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Narnia (although I wish I lived there).**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

The sun had already settled in the west when Susan woke up.

At first she felt much too comfortable. Something that didn't happen as she slept on her lumpy matrass in her London flat.

She stretched then, to chase away the last remnants of sleep left in her system. Yet as her arms had come down they did not fall off the sides of the bed, but rather fell down on top of the soft duvet.

Again, this made no sense to Susan.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and turned her head to the left, reaching with her hand towards her old bedside lamp.

Her hand encountered the smooth, polished surface of her nightstand but she never found the lamp. She kept trying to locate it without having to get up.

It was while her hand was feeling its way around the surface that she knocked something over.

The clash that followed made her jump in fright and sit up with her palms pressed against her chest as she let out a startled shriek.

The door to her chambers opened instantly.

"Majesty!" A voice exclaimed and Susan willed herself to focus enough so that she noticed that it was a man calling her name. An armored man.

What on Earth?

She shook her head quickly as one would to chase off a particularly annoying fly.

It was then that she took in her surroundings and the events of the last twenty-four hours caught up with her.

Has it really been a day?

It felt like a week in the least.

She was back.

She was home.

It wasn't a dream.

_He _was with her.

She saw him.

Touched him.

Breathed him in.

Susan exhaled loudly and then turned to the guard, sensing by his stare that he still expected her response.

"Everything is alright, dear sir," she hurried to assure him with a soft smile. "Just a bad dream. I didn't mean to alarm you."

The man nodded. "Merely doing my duty, Majesty." And with a slight curtsy closed the door.

Susan fell back on the bed and exhaled loudly.

"What a mess." She sighed.

She stayed like that for a while, just staring silently at the ceiling and replaying the last day in her thoughts over and over again until a knock on the door pulled her from her daydreams.

"Come in." Susan, said, sitting up in her bed.

It was Daliah.

"My Lady, I come to inquire whether you'd be joining their Majesties for supper." The girl asked timidly.

Susan nodded. She did promise Caspian she'd join them and as much as she dreaded meeting the Queen and putting up with her cousin and his annoying companion –who would no doubt be there – she couldn't break her promise. A word was a word.

"Oh my!" Daliah's soft gasp made Susan turn her head in the direction the other girl was looking in.

"Oh this is my fault. I knocked the tray in my sleep. I was looking for my night lamp." Susan explained sheepishly and got up quickly to clear the mess.

Daliah mirrored Susan, subtly attempting to make her stop picking up the food. She was Queen after all! It was not done.

"A night lamp?" Daliah asked as she threw some grapes into the small silver bowl they were previously placed in. "What is that?"

Susan chuckled. She sometimes forgot just how different Narnia was from London.

"It is night light, to put it simply. Like you would place a candle on your nightstand if you need to get up at night." she explained. "Only it doesn't need replacing."

Daliah gaped at the Queen in wonder. "An endless candle?"

Susan laughed softly. "No, dear girl. It resembles the torches we have at the gardens only they are without candles."

"Then how do they work?" Daliah asked, truly curious about this other world.

Susan remained silent.

"Forgive me, My Lady, it was not my place to interrogate you so." Daliah apologized, obviously taking Susan's silence the wrong way.

"No, Daliah." Susan hurried to calm her. "I am not upset with you; I was simply thinking how to explain it. It's a bit complicated to explain to a person who has never seen one before."

* * *

After Susan managed to convince Daliah to let her help in picking up the mess, the two of them were done quickly and Susan opened her wardrobe in search of a gown to wear for supper.

She wanted something simple – after all it was only going to be a regular supper, not a ball – yet pretty.

She wanted to look pretty for Caspian, yet she knew that she must not outshine his Queen. After all she was a guest in their home – Queen of Old or not.

After pulling just about every dress she owned out on her bed Susan was ready to pull her hair out.

For a moment she even contemplated wearing the blue dress with the puffy white sleeves, but she decided against it almost immediately. No need to provoke Caspian or make things more awkward than they currently were between them.

"How about this one, My Lady" Daliah suggested holding a dark teal dress that somehow got past Susan's attention before.

Susan looked at the dress carefully. It was simple enough – it was a floor length dress with no waistline that would fit her just right and would flare slightly at her feet. It had a low cut neckline that was covered with embroidered lace that reached the base of her neck and formed an elegant collar. The sleeves were long and fit the shape of the dress – snug on top and flaring out from below the elbow. Her shoulders were covered in small stones that sparkled a few shades lighter than the color of the dress.

It was beautiful.

Susan smiled widely at Daliah's choice. "This is it. It's perfect. I don't know how I've missed it."

"And your hair, Milady?" Daliah asked. "I am afraid I cannot do something elaborate, but if you wish I can call one of Her Majesty's maids to help you with that." She apologized sheepishly.

"Oh no. Nothing too elaborated. Just pick it up neatly at the base of my neck. I am merely going to dinner, not to a wedding." Susan smiled at her fondly.

She had a feeling Daliah might just become her dearest girl-friend in the palace.

It was about eight o'clock when everyone gathered in the formal dining room. Trumpkin would never admit it out loud but he was downright giddy to see the Gentle Queen again (and have a proper chat with her this time.). So were Trufflehunter and Doctor Cornelius.

Eustace was chatting away with Jill until his cousin showed up and he could inquire properly about just how familiar she was with the King.

Caspian was anxious. He hated gatherings like this. He usually dined in his small lounge that adjoined his bedroom and whoever wished to keep him company simply joined him there.

However the arrival of the Gentle Queen had thrown the Castle's inhabitants – servants, noblemen and royals alike – into quite the tailspin.

The door opened to the dining room opened and a faun – who was also Caspian's squire – announced:

"Queen Susan the Gentle."

One look at her and Caspian thought he may have forgotten how to breathe.

* * *

_**over 1K as per your request, dear readers :)**_

_**You can find the dress I described in my dolldivine account (mimozka - as well) which I created for the purpose of making Susan's future dresses. You can find them under 'Narnia' but bear in mind that not all dresses are for this story.**_

_**I hope you liked it.**_

_**Next we'll have the two Queens meet. At last.**_

_**Have a fantastic day,**_

_**Anna.**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hello lovelies, so sorry about the long no-update period. I won't be taking more of your time with apologies and stuff (although I am sorry) so that you could enjoy the chapter. It's a bit longer than usual. **_

_**Had fun writing this one. **_

_**C.S. Lewis owns the brilliance that are these characters and universe. **_

* * *

_**Previously on MQMH:**_

_It was about eight o'clock when everyone gathered in the formal dining room. Trumpkin would never admit it out loud but he was downright giddy to see the Gentle Queen again (and have a proper chat with her this time.). So were Trufflehunter and Doctor Cornelius._

_Eustace was chatting away with Jill until his cousin showed up and he could inquire properly about just how familiar she was with the King._

_Caspian was anxious. He hated gatherings like this. He usually dined in his small lounge that adjoined his bedroom and whoever wished to keep him company simply joined him there._

_However the arrival of the Gentle Queen had thrown the Castle's inhabitants – servants, noblemen and royals alike – into quite the tailspin._

_The door opened to the dining room opened and a faun – who was also Caspian's squire – announced:_

_"Queen Susan the Gentle."_

_One look at her and Caspian thought he may have forgotten how to breathe._

"Good evening, I hope I haven't kept you waiting," Susan smiled upon entering the dining hall.

"My Queen!" Doctor Cornelius exclaimed, stepping forward to greet her. "I am so glad to see you here. I honestly thought that dear Trumpkin had lost his mind when he told me that you've returned to us."

"Told me so, as well," Trumpkin murmured grumpily.

Susan laughed lightly at the dwarf's reaction "Oh, DLF, it's all in good humor. You can hardly blame the Doctor for making that assumption. I thought I'd lost my mind as well when I realized where I was." She said.

"Wasn't much of a change for you then." Eustace said quietly.

Unfortunately for him though, he wasn't quiet enough. Most of the people in the room turned to stare at him in wonder.

"Beg your pardon?" Susan asked with an icy glare, one she was addressing her cousin with quite often as of late.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Caspian asked alongside Susan.

Susan seemed fine to him. What could possibly have happened to cause Eustace to make such a comment?

"It's not like it's not true, you've been acting like a madwoman for years now." The young lord defended himself.

"Eustace." Susan hissed in warning.

"Bite your tongue, young man." Trufflehunter chided him gently. "One does not speak to a Queen of Her Majesty's caliber in such a way. No matter that she is related to you."

"Thank you, dear friend," Susan smiled at the badger for defending her. "It's quite alright, though, I can handle my cousin."

"Shall we ring for dinner?" asked a gentle voice Susan has never heard before. She turned around and came face to face with a woman about her height with a light blond hair that flowed past her shoulders and a pale blue dress that was fit for a queen. That's when it dawned on her that this woman must be Caspian's wife.

Caspian cleared his throat awkwardly, having come to the conclusion that he would be the one to do the introduction between the two.

Talk about awkward.

He decided to get it over with as quickly as possible.

"My Lady, this is Queen Susan the Gentle of Old. Your Highness, this is Queen Lillandil – my wife." His voice trembled slightly at the end.

"It's a pleasure to finally put a face to the name. My siblings have told me of your mutual adventures." Susan stepped forward and curtsied towards the other queen.

"The Legends do not do you justice, Your Highness. I must say that I look forward to getting to know you." The sincerity in Lillandil's voice and the kindness in her eyes surprised Susan immensely.

Having seen that, Susan couldn't help but return the queen's smile.

She wasn't sure how she should feel about Caspian's wife. A part of her wanted to hate her simply because of the place she held in Caspian's life. That same part wanted nothing to do with the woman. The other part of her though couldn't behave in a malicious manner towards the queen. Lillandil had been nothing but kind and courteous.

Everyone sat down at the table after introductions were made. Caspian sat at the head with Lillandil sitting to his left and Trumpkin to his right. Susan was seated between Eustace (to her great annoyance) and Trumpkin and across from her sat Dr. Cornelius. Next to him was Trufflehunter who was also facing Jill.

"So, my Queen, how did you get here this time?" Dr. Cornelius inquired as they were being served their first course. He was immensely curious as to how Susan managed to come back, but he also couldn't bear the awful silence that had settled over the table.

"I was walking home from the hospital, actually," Susan said a bit hesitantly.

"What is a hospital?" Trumpkin cut her off.

Susan smiled fondly at the dwarf. "That is what infirmaries are called in London. I was working there as a nurse." She explained.

She paused for a moment and glanced hesitantly around the room. "As soon as I turned around the corner to enter the park I found myself at Glasswater Creek."

"You're certain you were walking?" Jill asked between bites of her meal. "You seemed quite disheveled and out of breath when we found you." The young girl raised a suspicious eyebrow at Susan.

"I was nothing of the sort." Susan denied a tad too quickly.

"Cousin, I beg to differ." Eustace now joined their little 'debate'.

Susan groaned, seeing that there were not going to let this go. "Fine, I believe there was someone following me." She confessed reluctantly.

Caspian's face drained of colour at the possible implication. "Someone?" He asked, the question coming out like a hiss from the effort it took the King to restrain himself from making a scene. "What do you mean, exactly?"

"I'm fairly certain I was being followed on my way home. I could feel their presence at the back of my neck even though I couldn't see anyone." Susan said hesitantly, knowing this was bound to bring a strong reaction out of the king.

"But surely, your companion would have protected you!" Doctor Cornelius exclaimed.

Eustace snorted which resulted in his wine goblet spilling over the table as he was just about to take a sip. "She doesn't have any friends. She lives all alone in London now. Doesn't talk to any of us mere mortals who call ourselves her family, either." He said. "Oh, and she works from dawn to dusk. God knows where she lives, probably in a bad neighborhood. "

Eustace probably would have continued had he not been interrupted by the loud slamming of Susan's goblet against the wooden table.

"That's enough!" She hissed sharply, her face a stony mask of steel composure.

As the goblet collided with the wood the wine spilled out if it over the tablecloth and – unfortunately – Susan's dress, leaving dark burgundy stains in its' path.

"Wonderful," Susan sighed, looking down at the front of her dress. She quickly took a kerchief and started dabbing the saturated fabric.

"Would you like to change, Queen Susan? We'd hold dinner for you." Lillandil offered.

Susan looked up at the blonde queen. "That's very kind of you, My Queen , but it is nothing to delay dinner over." She said with a small smile. "Besides, growing up with three siblings, I've had way worse, so it's nothing really." She added with a weak chuckle.

"It must have been quite an adventure growing up with them." Lillandil commented wistfully.

"Not really," Susan shook her head. "I feel like most of the time I've acted like their mother rather than their sister. I have honestly lost count of the times I had to break up fights my brothers got into," She looked pointedly at Eustace then, "Or between Peter, Edmund and _Eustace._"

"They were always ganging up on me!" Eustace complained.

"You never missed an opurtunity to provoke them, cousin." Susan countered. "You know," she added after a moment. "Lucy says that you've matured a great deal after your first visit to Narnia – no matter that her trust in people is not always deserved – but you _were _a nasty little boy when you were a child." She said sadly.

Before things could get even more personal than what they were, Trumpkin intervened, because he had endured as much drama as he could stomach for the night.

"What do you think of the renovations, Queen Susan? We would love to know if there's something to improve upon seeing as you are going to be our best source of information from now on – having actually lived in the original one."

Susan's smile turned radiant. "Like I've already told the King this morning – it's absolutely stunning! Apart from the obviously intended stylistic changes in the interior there's hardly any difference."

The Doctor smiled brightly at the queen after which he lifted his goblet and toasted slightly to her. "We would love your help on the matter of course. There is still much to be done and your knowledge of Cair Paravel would be invaluable to us."

"My dear Doctor, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to help you as much as I'd like." Susan bowed her head to look at her plate as she poked around its contents with her fork.

The doctor's face fell.

"However," She looked up smiling "I do know a place – a source – where you would be able to find all you need to know, should you want to."

"Where would that be?" Caspian cut in. "We've looked everywhere."

Susan made eye contact with Caspian for the first time that evening. "It's a book I remember seeing amongst our belongings at Aslan's How."

That was exactly what Caspian feared she would say. He had not visited Aslan's How in eight years. There were too much memories there. Especially in the years prior to his marriage – every thought of Susan stabbed him with a pain of a thousand arrows.

An awkward silence settled over the table once again. The people present - Susan excluded – were the only ones who knew the real reason as to why the How was sealed all those years ago.

"Surely you've checked there!" Susan exclaimed when she received no response from Caspian.

"We didn't wish to disturb your belongings. It was not our place." Caspian responded, only half lying to her.

"Nonsense." Susan waved him off. "I'll go there tomorrow and myself and retrieve the book." She said, not wanting to dwell too much of the possible meaning of Caspian's previous statement.

"You've only just arrived, Your Highness." Trufflehunter protested. "We have so much to catch up about."

Susan smiled apologetically at the badger. "Of course, dear friend, but I must do this first – I need to meet with Aslan. I need to know the purpose of my being here…" she explained. "and if I am to stay." She added quietly after a moment's pause.

Caspian knew her well enough to detect the hint of hope in her voice. One she tried very much to hide from them.

Lillandil smiled softly at Susan's words but offered no comment.

"So, Susan, how long have you and our king known each other for?" Jill asked suddenly.

Caspian's fork clattered onto the fork as he dropped it mid-bite as soon as he heard her question.

Susan's face drained off its colour.

The badger, dwarf and half-dwarf tensed in their seats in anticipation of – no doubt – another upcoming argument.

* * *

oooh cliffie! Sorry about that. When I first wrote that chapter there was one more paragraph after that scene but somehow when I typed it up (I write on paper first and then type on MS Word) it didn't seem to fit here.

Man I just love writing Eustace / Susan spats. So entertaining!

Anywho, because I'm sure some of you will wonder about Lillandil's weird behavior - it's all a part of the plot, dears, worry not ;-)

To those of you who also follow ACH - I'm working on it, honest.

Let me know how you feel about this chapter.

Love you all and have a great day,

~ Anna.


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